Italy Cycle Journal

Day 9 - Ride to Colle di Val D'Elsa

Day 9 – Ride to Colle di Val D’Elsa: May 21, 2005

Despite the loud ruffianeering that the soccer ruffians were doing last night, I woke up really early (around 6am). Got up and finished packing, but I didn’t have a lot to do since I was only in Vinci for one day.

At 7, I went down to see if breakfast was ready yet – since it’s been at varying times at varying hotels. Fortunately, it was ready to go even though I was the only one up. The private room was all set up again for the Empoli Soccer team (that’s who they were, there were pictures all over the room with their name & team members). I guess this was their official hotel for something or another. Maybe they come to Vinci for their season training camp or something?

The man running the breakfast area didn’t speak a word of English, so when I asked for coffee, he used his hands to say ‘small’ or ‘large?’ I figured he meant did I want a small Italian café (espresso) or the larger American café (regular coffee)? So, I said ‘grande.’ Whoops.

Welcome to the language barrier – the quick and easy way to screw up what you want. Thanks for playing our game!! Instead of the American coffee, I got a large espresso. As in, a full coffee cup of espresso. Yuck. I’m not a big coffee fan in the first place. I drink it, but only with lots of sugar, milk and/or chocolate (as in Café Mocha or Mocha Frappucinos). So, drinking a large cup of espresso was like drinking dirt. I could barely stomach it, but I managed.

I ought to be awake until around 2 am. Tuesday.

Got on the road by 8am. This is when I usually like to ride. I get out early and into the world before most people are even out of bed. It was really beautiful – some incredible views. Unfortunately, the early morning haze made photo taking tough for the first couple hours of the ride.

So, for those of you looking for beautiful panoramic shots of the Tuscan countryside, you’re shit out of luck. Sorry.

I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten much better at converting kilometers to miles while I’m riding. Just helps me to gauge how far things are and how fast I’m riding, so I convert the numbers in my head throughout the ride.

Discovered a much easier way to convert kilometers to miles along the way. Not sure why this was such a revelation to me, since I’m supposedly pretty good with numbers. But at first, I kept multiplying the kilometers by 0.6 and tried to keep the decimal point moving in my head as I multiplied. Made it a bit complicated to do.

Then I realized, “Hey. What if I don’t move the decimal point until AFTER I do the multiplication?” Duh. How the hell did it take me so long to figure out THAT one.

Turns out that 28 times .6 is pretty tough to calculate in your head (.6 x 8 = 4.8, plus .6 x 20 = 12.0, aka 16.8) . But 28 times 6 = 168, then move the decimal point? Piece of cake. I feel like a total dumbshit for not realizing that one earlier.

Rode for a while and got to Certaldo Alto – stopped there and took the funicolare up to the top of the hill, where there were some fantastic views and I could see San Gimignano in the distance. I’ll get there later on this week on one of my day rides, but basically the place looks like something out of a Dungeons & Dragons game or Lord of the Rings or something.

Took my time getting to the hotel, since I figured there was no way that my luggage was going to be there yet.

The rest of the ride was really uneventful. I could go on and on about the scenery and wax poetic about it, but I’m not the type to wax poetic about anything. I grew up in the middle of Wisconsin, I’ve seen endless fields before. Even though these were a little more interesting because there were actual hills and the land was filled with olives and grapes, it was still just endless fields.

The views early on filled me with a sense of wonder and beauty and awe. At this point, being this up close and intimate with them for 4 days, I was like – Yawn. Bring on the mountains!! Or dancing girls! Or a drunk German guy in lederhosen at the side of the road. Anything to break it up a bit.

Finally started to pass through some tiny little towns that looked like they were built about 150 years ago – not quite the ancient villages I had seen before. More along the lines of Midwest suburbs, but not as boring.

Then, I passed through some little blips on the map. Literally, towns that were 6 businesses and a few homes. Then, as I got closer to my hotel, I passed through a town that was nothing but a handful of old brick buildings and a donkey. The donkey kept starting at me – I asked him “What are you looking at jackass?” and then laughed my ass off. I’m a little punchy at this point.

Finally, I have to turn off the main road. And when I say main road, I mean it was paved and it was wide enough for a Yugo. And the next road I’m going down is dirt. At this point, it’s 5 miles since I’ve seen anything resembling a town. So, I’m thinking – “What godforsaken out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere little bed and breakfast have they booked me in?” I am going to have absolutely nothing to do at this place and I’m stuck here for 4 days without a town nearby.

Quick aside: the last 4 days of the cycling portion of the trip are all at the same hotel – I have day rides to Siena, San Gimignano and Chianti, then on the last day I depart.

And I go further down the dirt road. And further. Oh look, there’s a house – I bet that’s it. Nope. Further.
And finally, I arrived.

Holy shit.

The place is palatial. Seriously. I guess because it’s in the middle of nowhere, it’s inexpensive enough to be within the budget of the tour company. But this is a place that movies can be filmed at – when the tired old jewel thief retires to a life of luxury, it’s here.

I’m NOT exaggerating. Just the opposite. I don’t think I can do it justice. Nor can my pictures.

As expected, my luggage hasn’t arrived, but that’s JUST fine with me. I put on my mp3 player and go nap out by the pool. Oh yes, there’s a pool. And a courtyard. And tennis courts. And little private villas on the grounds (where the truly WEALTHY are staying).

My room is a loft – complete with kitchen on the lower floor, some chairs – then on the second floor, there’s a bed and another chair with a little reading light next to it. Beautiful and some if it looks like it’s from the original building god knows how many hundreds of years ago.

And best of all – they have a satellite dish and WIRELESS internet access!!! Funny thing is, it was just installed yesterday. They must have known I was coming. It’s 20 Euros for 10 hours of access, but over the course of 4 days – totally worth it. I’ll have a lot of downtime after my rides. So I can hop online and catch up with stuff. Like this.

I mentioned that I’m not into fine food and spas and things like that. But THIS I could get used to. A pool, sunshine, music, computer and a good book. I’m set.

The irony is that this is the first place I’ve been where the cell phone service hasn’t been exceptional. So no phone calls from here, it seems.

There was a wedding party setting up out by the pool. Then, the wedding guests started to arrive.

Want an example why so many people think American tourists are rude and obnoxious? There’s an American guy, complete with baseball cap. He wanders into the private area where the wedding party is starting to get going. Sits down at a table, starts reading a paper and eating the hors d’ouevres from the wedding cocktail reception.

Totally oblivious to the fact that a) the area is roped off; b) everyone is dressed up and c) you don’t know the people in the GIANT PICTURE OF THE WEDDING COUPLE IN FRONT OF THE FOOD!!! Finally, his son (complete with Virginia Tech t-shirt and cap) walks up to him and points it out to him.

Had a really fancy dinner at the hotel restaurant – thi s place does high class dinners and catering. The appetizer buffet was half a mile long and cost 15 Euros – this is before you even get to the meal. Had spaghetti bianco something something. Essentially spaghetti in a red sauce with small tomatoes and shrimp. It was pretty good.

Then, ordered the bass with a lot of other stuff in Italian that I can’t remember. The bass came out – sure enough, there’s the head. Still on it. I’m all for indulging in other cultures, but it’s like I always say. “DON’T LEAVE THE HEAD ON MY FUCKING FOOD!” Seriously. I always say that. It’s just nasty. I ate the food and I think it was tasty, but the taste of my own disgust kinda of made it hard to tell.

In order to tolerate eating the fish, I peeled off the fish skin and covered up his face with it, like the hangman covering up the head of the accused in the gallows.

After dinner, did some moonlight internet surfing and went back to try to sleep. The wedding party finished dinner and then the dancing and music were going on until around 1am, so I didn’t sleep well until they were done.

Random thoughts:

The main house of the hotel is where the ‘cheap rooms’ are. Ironic because this is where the rich family probably lived 200 years ago. The former ‘servant quarters’ out on the grounds have been converted into the private villas where the rich people are staying.

The last couple hotels I’ve been to have had ‘radiator’ towel racks. You can heat up your towels before you get out of the shower. LOVE that.

Not sure where I’m going to eat the next couple days. I don’t really want to eat at the fancy hotel restaurant 4 nights in a row, but I’m not sure what my options are – the nearest town is miles and miles away. I don’t want to order beef and get the cow’s browneye included with the ‘rump roast’

posted by Joel @ 7:33 AM