Italy Cycle Journal

Interlude - Italian Life Cycle

Interlude: Day 7

Had enough random thoughts already, so I wanted to separate this into a different entry. It’s amazing how much stupid shit my brain comes up with when I’m walking around or riding my bike. Makes me wonder how much stuff I’d collect up if I kept notes on ALL of my bike rides?

There are three stages of aging for Italian women and Italian men, from what I’ve seen.

Three Stages of Italian Women

Stage One: Young & Hot; Style: Low-rise jeans, multi-colored hair, tight top, clunky shoes and gigantic sunglasses that cover most of the face.
Stage Two: Middle aged, look kind of like Sophia Loren, but usually with skin dried out as though she’d been stuck under a tanning bed for 11 or 12 days; Style: Light colored skirt below the knee, black or other dark colored sweater with some rhinestone patterns, high heels and horn-rimmed glasses (varying shapes).
Stage Three: Mother Teresa Look-alike Competitors; Style: Shawls, head scarves, flat shoes, scowl


Three Stages of Italian Men

Stage One: Young Turks; Style: Tight jeans, tighter shirts (usually some incongruous mixture of colors, sometimes plain black)
Stage Two: Slick, aging businessman; Style: Suit with bright color shirt & no tie, shirt usually open to mid-chest – picture George Clooney in Ocean’s Twelve.
Stage Three: Crotchety old man (NOT kindly old Gepetto): Style: Height is about 9 inches shorter than Stage Two, suit from 1974 with tie, usually wearing some kind of hat similar to the ones worn by Bing Crosby on his Christmas specials, scowl

posted by Joel @ 5:39 PM